Holiday Pictures @ Temple Square
Lots of pasture/animals/Grandpa time
Nephew's Play
Nephew's Football Game/time with cousins (great win Pirates!)
Beautiful snow storm (wish I could bring winter weather back to NV)
It was so amazing to go home. I cried as we came into Utah. I never thought Utah was anything special and I didn't feel like I needed/wanted to live there for the rest of my life. I don't know if it seems better comparing it to Nevada, or if it's more than that.
When Nic had his internship in Washington DC it was such a major life changing event for me. I became much more independent there and opened my mind to so many things. It was our time there that made me really want to live out of state. I loved experiencing a variety of cultures, I loved experiencing a different place to live and a much different way of life.
Nevada has been such a different experience. Maybe it's because I knew we were only in Washington DC for a short time and Nevada could be more permanent. Maybe it's because DC is such a neat place that anyone would love living there. I really don't know. All I know is that this does not seem like a place I want to stay. It doesn't seem like a place I want to raise children. I don't like living by casinos and brothels. I don't like living in a place where the people seem sad and unhappy (not the people in my ward of course, they are great). And you already know how I feel about the landscape/sagebrush/weather.
Going back to Utah actually made it worse I think. I thought I knew what I was missing, but it was more evident while we were there how much I was actually missing out on. Family is a very obvious reason why it's hard to live away.
Reading my blog you may think that I am not trying very hard to like it here, I feel like I am. We do any activity in town that we can find. In my opinion, it's just a hard place to live. I am also willing to admit that this whole experience may be a lot worse because I am pregnant. You can blame everything on hormones, right?
So for now I am trying to look forward to our 2 remaining visits home. Nic and I are trying to figure out our future and decide what we really want and will make us happy. I will keep trying to find the good here so that I can make the most of this experience. Maybe time is all I need?