Holiday Pictures @ Temple Square
Lots of pasture/animals/Grandpa time
Nephew's Play
Nephew's Football Game/time with cousins (great win Pirates!)
Beautiful snow storm (wish I could bring winter weather back to NV)
It was so amazing to go home. I cried as we came into Utah. I never thought Utah was anything special and I didn't feel like I needed/wanted to live there for the rest of my life. I don't know if it seems better comparing it to Nevada, or if it's more than that.
When Nic had his internship in Washington DC it was such a major life changing event for me. I became much more independent there and opened my mind to so many things. It was our time there that made me really want to live out of state. I loved experiencing a variety of cultures, I loved experiencing a different place to live and a much different way of life.
Nevada has been such a different experience. Maybe it's because I knew we were only in Washington DC for a short time and Nevada could be more permanent. Maybe it's because DC is such a neat place that anyone would love living there. I really don't know. All I know is that this does not seem like a place I want to stay. It doesn't seem like a place I want to raise children. I don't like living by casinos and brothels. I don't like living in a place where the people seem sad and unhappy (not the people in my ward of course, they are great). And you already know how I feel about the landscape/sagebrush/weather.
Going back to Utah actually made it worse I think. I thought I knew what I was missing, but it was more evident while we were there how much I was actually missing out on. Family is a very obvious reason why it's hard to live away.
Reading my blog you may think that I am not trying very hard to like it here, I feel like I am. We do any activity in town that we can find. In my opinion, it's just a hard place to live. I am also willing to admit that this whole experience may be a lot worse because I am pregnant. You can blame everything on hormones, right?
So for now I am trying to look forward to our 2 remaining visits home. Nic and I are trying to figure out our future and decide what we really want and will make us happy. I will keep trying to find the good here so that I can make the most of this experience. Maybe time is all I need?
2 comments:
Well, good luck! Hopefully you will have pointers for me to living away from home because I know I'm really going to struggle. Just know that we love you and can't wait to see you at Thanksgiving. You will start liking it there, I just know it! :-)
Ash, I can relate. Last year in England was so tough. Even though we were seeing and doing lots of incredible things, I still was missing home like crazy. Some days I would just sit at home and cry on the couch. Kevin would literally leave in the morning with me sitting on the couch and come home to find me in the exact same spot. It does get better I promise, and being pregnant does make it a lot worse. I was pregnant the whole time in England pretty much and I blamed a lot of my feelings on that.
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