Thursday, October 10, 2013

Being A Stay At Home Mom

I have found myself pondering why I have chosen the occupation that I have.

It has caused me to look deep inside myself and ask why I have chosen this life. Through prayer, scripture study, personal reflection, and last week's LDS General Conference, I feel more empowered than ever in this sacred role. I want to document this for my own girls so that they will know why I have chosen this for me and my family.

I choose to be a stay at home mom because:
  • My mom stayed home. She was/is an intelligent woman and could have done her nursing career full-time, but she chose not to. She chose to put her 6 children first. She was at every assembly, every performance, and there every day when I came home from school. She listened to me and was there for me.
  • I grew up thinking I would be a stay at home mom. Partly because of my mom, partly because of my religion (I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) which teaches us to put family first.
  • My husband and I have tried to pattern our lives after The Family: A Proclamation to the World (Read it here: https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation)
  • I love my girls so much. I don't want to miss a single moment of their lives...until I have to ;) I could never leave them in someone elses daily care when I know and love them better then anyone else ever could.
  • I enjoy making a home. The cooking, cleaning, budgeting, decorating, organizing, teaching, all of it. It fulfills me in ways I had never imagined.
  • For my husband. Nic has always supported my decision to stay home and always wanted a wife that was willing to stay home. Statistics show that husbands are more fulfilled and happy when they are the sole providers for their families. I also have more time and energy to be a good wife because I don't have a separate career outside of the home.
  • I get to do service everyday for the people I love most.
  • The list really could go on and on, but I will end with these quotes from the Apostles & Prophets of our church...
President David O. McKay put it beautifully when he said, speaking of mothers, “This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God. In her high duty and service to humanity, endowing with immortality eternal spirits, she is co-partner with the Creator himself.” (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, pp. 453–54.)

Elder Jeffrey R Holland said:
In speaking of mothers generally, I especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. The young years are often those when either husband or wife—or both—may still be in school or in those earliest and leanest stages of developing the husband’s breadwinning capacities. Finances fluctuate daily between low and nonexistent. The apartment is usually decorated in one of two smart designs—Deseret Industries provincial or early Mother Hubbard. The car, if there is one, runs on smooth tires and an empty tank. But with night feedings and night teethings, often the greatest challenge of all for a young mother is simply fatigue. Through these years, mothers go longer on less sleep and give more to others with less personal renewal for themselves than any other group I know at any other time in life.
That one made me cry!

I have also recently read "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms". Dr. Laura has helped give me perspective on what it is I actually do. This book has changed how I view motherhood and my decision to be a stay at home mother.

I used to be embarrassed or feel that I needed some kind of excuse when I told people I was a stay at home mom. Not any more. I am proud that I stay home with my children. I feel fulfilled with my life and passionate about home and family. I am now much happier. I don't care if the world says I am of no value. I am trying my best to benefit my family and I am trying to do what my Heavenly Father wants me to do.

3 comments:

Kevin said...

Very well said Ashley! I feel the exact same way!

Kevin said...

P.S this is Jamie :)

Anna Heywood said...

This is so inspiring! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on being a stay-at-home mom. It is hard to keep it all in perspective sometimes. I love your passion and your hard work to be the best mom, wife and homemaker you can be. Thanks for your great example to all around you.