So how does anyone function with more than 1 child? I sure can't do it. I can only accomplish things when Nic is home from work. I feel like during the day I can barely take care of their needs let alone cook, clean, or have fun with them. When you are taking care of one you are neglecting the other, and I hate that. The main issue is that Brooklyn can not be put down. She is one of those babies that you always have to walk and move with. Anytime I put her down, even for a few minutes, she screams. From what I have read and from what our pediatrician tells us there is no such thing as spoiling a baby...so holding her doesn't make her want to be held more if that makes sense. So I am trying to figure out how to take care of Sam while always having the baby. I am looking into getting a swing as I think she may like that movement. It's just hard adjusting because with your first child you never have to put them down. Sleep deprivation is the other thing that Nic and I are both struggling with. Again, with your first child it's so much easier. You can just sleep when they sleep throughout the day. When you have another child who wakes up at 7:30am you have to be awake even if you just laid down an hour before. We are getting better with the night time routine..Nic is taking the first shift from 10pm-2am and then I am taking her the rest of the night/morning. That has helped because it gives us each 3or 4 hours of good sleep.
So I am looking for advice from experienced parents out there! How did you transition to two? How do you give equal time to the older child? How do you deal with a baby that needs held a lot?
Moving on to a few pictures and updates:
Sam's Birthday Countdown (1 week until this girl is 3 years old!)
Sorry she is just in her underwear, that's how she usually looks :)
Baby Brooklyn, 1 month old (can she really be a month already?)
Her hands are always by her face when she sleeps, this particular pose makes me laugh
Smile :)
I snapped this picture in the middle of the night, love it!
My 2 girls
9 comments:
I always nursed on the couch or on my bed, so Macie could sit next to me, with a book and I'd read to her. Also, when Tyce goes down for his morning nap, if Macie doesn't need one (she rarely takes them anymore), I implement "quiet time" for her. She has to stay in her room and play quietly or read or do puzzles for a certain period of time so I can shower, have a quick nap, fold laundry...etc. I put the baby gate up in her doorway so she can't sneak out and rip my house apart. Her room usually gets pretty messy during that time, but it's worth it to me.
I tried the best I could to get them both on the same napping schedule so I could have some time to get stuff done. (babies are easier to mold their nap times btw...)
I go grocery shopping after the kids are in bed, so I get some peace in the evening and I don't have to juggle two kids at the store.
Go easy on yourself, it gets better... It takes some time, but you'll find your niche.
Also, (sorry for the multiple comments...) on days when I don't need a whole ton of time to get ready and get stuff done, during Tyce's nap me and Macie sometimes will do a project or craft or color or whatever just us two. It helps to keep your bond strong. :)
Going from one to two was a really hard adjustment for me! I loved my swing, Jaxon loved it too and it really helped. I put together a basket for Hayley of things to do while I nursed and she could only play with it during feeding time. I would put Hayley on the couch with a movie on while I napped on the couch. I was really sick during my pregnancy with Jax so she learned how to entertain herself. Don't feel guilty for not getting all the housework done all the time. Make sure get naps in because a happy functional mom is more important than a spotless house. You could use a front carrier or a sling to hold the baby while you do things like vacuum or fold laundry, do dishes etc. It gets better I promise! Going from 1 to 2 kids was harder for me than 2 to 3. Hope this helps!
Get Sam involved with doing whatever you are with Brooklyn. Read to both of them. Go on walks. (The baby may sleep so you can play with Sam at the playground) And you know what my advice will be...get a binky. haha :-) No, just nap when you can and do as much as you can while Nic is home if you can't put her down. I'll call you tomorrow with more thoughts.
Hey Ash I don't know if I would have any other advice that hasn't already been said. I did what Aubrey suggested and would grocery shop in the evening after the kids were in bed. I always had pumped milk in the fridge and freezer so Chris wasn't left stranded. I also did what Aubrey said and started having quiet time. It is super worth it! Take advantage of nap time for Brooklyn to do fun things with Sam. That's a perfect time to do crafts, bake, and other things that are hard with a little one. I promise it gets easier! You'll get a groove down soon. It took me some time to figure it out too.
Your kiddos are so cute. All the suggestions given are great. When I had my second I would cry all the time, because I felt like I was neglecting my first. But it gets better over time. They are only babies for a matter of months and all the sudden you are out of that stage and your other child still feels loved even though you thought they wouldn't:) I know this is kind of lame advise, because when you're in it, it seems like forever, but before you know it you'll look back and think wow I made it!! I use to clean my house often, but since I've had two, I just had to realize it's okay if things are a bit messy. I struggled with cooking too, so I did a lot more crock pot meals, so you can put them in the morning during nap and they are ready by dinner. You could also try making larger meals and freezing half so you can pull it out another day and just warm it up (if you have freezer space, not a luxury at my house). Also, I would set my baby in the swing in the kitchen right by me while I cooked, this didn't always work and she would just have to cry for a bit until I was done. As for sleep I would make all of us take a nap in the afternoon at the same time. But this only works if your older one still naps. I'm sure you are doing amazing and remember every mother of two has felt the exact same way as you. Good luck!!
Hang in there! If it's ever a choice between housework or taking care of yourself, the house can wait! Involve Sam with the baby as much as you can, it will help her feel important, loved and needed. Baby slings are great, as they allow you to keep that sweet little one close to you but leave your arms free to do what you need to do. Good luck adjusting! I'm sure you are doing a great job!
My advice is to move to Omaha and make your sister help you out :)
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